Characters to Love & Hate

I've been thinking about literary characters a lot lately. I'm trying to figure out what makes my favorite characters so great. Sometimes I make a list of what I love about a certain character (like Edward Cullen <don't roll your eyes at me!>) and what I hate about other characters. So what have I learned from these possibly pointless exercises? If anything, I have learned (like Alyssa said in this post) that listing adjectives about a character is not the same thing as really knowing who they are as "people." That goes with real life people, too. Right?

Ted Bundy had a great sense of humor, was nice to his friends and family, and charming (yuck), but that doesn't tell us anything about who he really is--a messed in the head, psycho murderer. Sure, we can make a list about Edward Cullen that says he is moody, brooding, intelligent, sentimental, and a sparkly Vampire, but does it tell us anything about who he is as a real-unliving-unbreathing-granite-fleshed person? Those traits alone are shallow, meaningless. There is something else, something special about him, something deeper than a mere list of adjectives, that has made women of all ages (and some men, maybe) fall in love with him...uh...I mean, fall in love with his character!

Have you figured out why you love the characters in your favorite books? It's not just because they are moody, brooding, intelligent, etc. Those are only snapshots, one second impressions. It's how those traits combine. It's what the characters say and do (or what they said and did in the past) that make us love/hate them. And really, REALLY <epiphany in the making!> it could come down to one simple fact.

What do WE long for in a relationship with a lover--a friend--a parent? Are our favorite characters a reflection of our personal wants and needs as real, living, breathing people?

Bing..bing..bing. I think that may be it, ultimately.

One thing I know for sure: there about a million, no, a BILLION personality combinations. That means each and every character you read in a book should be completely different from the characters in other books, right? If an author does their job, they will be. Are the characters we love ALSO the ones that are unique in the pool of literary characters?

Here is a question I need some help with. Are there make-it or break-it character personality traits?

Have you ever been on a date with someone and REALLY liked them until you found out...they smoke...or call their mom the B word? And, on the other hand, can someone you dislike grow on you a little if you find out something good about them?

Would we like Voldermort a little better if we knew he donated money to orphanages around the world AND cured cancer? (That's a stretch, I know) But would we like Mr. Collins (Pride & Prejudice) a little more if we knew he was browbeaten by his parents and made to feel like a complete imbecile? (Please read this last line over again in a British accent just for the heck of it!) Would we like Edward Cullen less if we knew he kept jars of REAL human blood under his bed to drink when he was alone in his room?

How would you feel about a character that seems pretty cool until you found out they didn't believe in god? Does it change anything? If you are an atheist, does it change your like/dislike of a character if they did believe in god? In real life, most people don't like or dislike a person based on their religious beliefs. But does the same apply to a person's like or dislike of literary characters?

For the other writers out there, I really recommended getting a copy of Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card. It will really open your eyes and help you improve the depth of your characters.

In closing, I'm REALLY curious about this (especially the religious stuff). I'm a writer, you know, and I'm trying to do research. I'd love to hear your opinions.

HAPPY MONDAY!

-Rane- 

I believe the Robert Pattinson photo came from Vanity Fair.
And just for the record: I love Edward Cullen and Robert Pattinson, too. Ah, sigh, ah.....sigh.......sigh........sigh. Okay, I'm done.

The first few pages of a book

are SO important.

Writers stress over the first few pages of their manuscript.

For readers, it can make or break a book purchase. I'm really picky about the books I buy from the bookstore. I take greater risks with online purchases because the books are half the price and even less than that if they are used. If I pick up a book and the 1st page doesn't hook me, I'll literally put it down and probably never give it another thought. I agree with all you tsk-tsk-ers and those of you shaking your finger at me this very moment. I shouldn't be like that. But come on---with thousands of books out there, and not enough time to read them all, we've got to be picky!!!

That being said, I want to talk about how AWESOME the beginning of Across The Universe by Beth Revis is. I have to admit, I'm always a little late to get started with the book club read, and then I rush to finish before our live blog chat at the end of the month. This time, I'm not so late (still 10 days to go lol).

I've decided to read the first couple pages of the book to you. You be the judge. Does this beginning start off  different from most YA books? Does it hook you? Would you read more??

If so....join our book club <hehe> so you can join us for the live book club chat at the end of this month! Or not, but let me know what you think of the beginning.

And before I start, let me give you tiny blurb to get you started:

"Amy is a cryogenically frozen passenger aboard the spaceship Godspeed. She has left her boyfriend, friends--and planet--behind to join her parents as a member of Project Ark Ship." (Taken from book's inside flap.)

Final thoughts

Starting the book with the process Amy has to go through in order to be a frozen passenger is what kept me reading. I wanted to see how Amy would handle it when it was her turn. I was intrigued by an idea that isn't yet possible in this day and age but could be one day.

-Rane-

The Organizing Zoo

This post really has nothing to do with a zoo, unless you consider your thoughts wild animals you need to round up and put on display somewhere. But it does have a whole heck of a lot to do with organizing your thoughts in regards to your WIP (work in progress).

That's what I'm doing. I'm organizing. It's taken me about a week to do this. I gather all my post-its, loose papers where I jotted down notes, and my journals where I collect ideas. Now I need to go about implementing these 10,000 or so ideas.

As you know WHO IS SAINT GIOVANNI? will be appearing on this blog in about 30 days or so. (OMG) This manuscript has gone through several revisions already. And when I decided to post it in weekly installments, I had actually forgotten that I was midway through a 3rd or 4th revision when I had to stop (because of work or school or some such thing) and left it to sit, unresolved, etc. That means the first half--in some ways--doesn't correspond perfectly with the second half of the manuscript.

I will finish in time. That's really no problem. The problem is where to get started with the 10,000 ideas. Writer friends....what do you do??? Do you start at the beginning of your manuscript and work your way through. This tends to be my MO.

OR do you go through your notes individually and find the spots that need tweaking? What else?

Just for the heck of it, I've decided to throw in a picture of my journals. For past novels, I've actually pinned butcher paper to the wall and charted out my entire novel based on events, so I could rearrange scenes. Have you ever done that? What are some other ways you record your thoughts?

Ok that's all for now. Have a great Friday :-)

UPDATE (as of 12:23pm pacific time)
I don't know why I feel compelled to update. BUT I DO! <hehe> I've decided to read through my entire manuscript and while doing so, take notes on my laptop. SEE:

-Rane-

Catch Me If You Can Blogfest

• It's blogfest time! Yippee-ki-yay! THANKS KRISTINA from KayKay's Corner for hosting this great blogfest!
• I'm posting the beginning of an untitled work in progress of mine. It's a little vulgar in places, so please brace yourself!
• Oh yeah, and it's a short story about a boy who sets out to teach a kid how to live a little, while discovering he's the one who doesn't know what it means to really "live." 

Martin’s fat. That’s why he won’t leave the house. I see him peeking out the blinds once in a while trying to get a taste of real life. He doesn’t get it though, not while he’s in there, where his mama’s greasy fried chicken probably uses up all his taste buds. I’ve even seen the kid, his arms folded on the basement’s window ledge, watching the shoes of us uninhibited pass by, wondering where we’re headed. He’s a dreamer, all right, in a pathetic way. I’m just the type of guy who can’t stand people who dream about things they never have the guts to do. Don’t ask me why.

I ring the bell at the Shelley house. Martin’s robust mama opens the door. She’s holding a glass of lemonade like it’s her lifeline. On a hot day like today, I’m surprised she made it to the door so fast. Through the screen I see a bead of sweat slip down between her breasts.

“What you doing here, Stan?”

“Is Martin home?” I ask out of politeness. Of course, Martin is home. I see him chicken dancing into the kitchen. I know it’s the kitchen because my house, the nicer one across the street, is just like theirs. Same layout and everything. 

Martin glances around the doorframe. With his body half hidden like that, he almost looks regular sized. Too bad he’s not. In another life we might have been amigos. That’s the word for friend in Mexico. Maria told me so last night when we were watching the stars in the bed of her father’s old Chevy. Amigos. I like the way the word rolls off my tongue.

• Thanks for stopping by! Want to join in? Click here!!!!!!

-Rane

Our New Blog Look!

Don't be alarmed! It's still us!
I promise.

One reason I've been so quiet on the blog this week is because I have been working on this new look, making graphics, etc. And this week was the first break I've had after close to 3 months of working 10-12 hours a day, weekends included. YAY! And I must admit, I felt like quite the zombie earlier this week. <deep breath> Now, I'm back and totally refreshed!

Why the new look, you wonder? <do you like it better?>
Honestly, the other look had a real cutesy feel to it, and we all agreed it was WAY too girlie. The guys are thinking, phew, now I can visit this blog while in a public place and not be embarrassed.

Some of our pages are still "under construction," but that will be fixed soon! We are working on a book review policy, which we didn't have before. Some of us here are getting offers from authors and publishers to read ARCs, so I suppose the day has come to have a policy.

Friendly reminders:

• We have a book club on goodreads! We're reading Across the Universe by Beth Revis. Later this month we're going to have another AWESOME book club chat right here on the blog.
• Check out the post below this one if you haven't yet. Kalina Kay has started a Q&A feature. Ask her anything about books or publishing. (See if you can stump her!!) For this first round of questions, she's offering a giveaway. SUPER COOL!
• Kristina Fugate is hosting a really great blogfest this coming Monday & Tuesday. There's a cool giveaway, so make sure you check it out....like....right now.
• OH YEAH, and the first installment of WHO IS SAINT GIOVANNI? (my young adult novel) will appear on this blog in 35 days 11 hours and 45 minutes. Click here if you have no clue what I'm talking about.

This is going to be a great week, and I hope you share my enthusiasm. Happy Sunday!

Rane

P.S. Don't I have the cutest writing buddy in the world? This was where my puppy chose to take her nap while I was working at the computer. She's snuggled between me and the edge of my computer desk (with a pillow behind her).

Book Cover HELP

Hello and good day to you! So here is Ashley Stewart's (the artist I'm collaborating with for WHO IS SAINT GIOVANNI?) sketch of the cover for my novel. We've gone through several drafts, and this is what we've settled on for the moment.

Are you confused? Do you not know what this "Who Is Saint Giovanni?" thing is all about? Never fear, by clicking THIS link, all your confusion will disappear. :-) <yeah, I'm corny, but then...you already knew that lol>

She's awesome, right?? She's going to be painting it, of course, and we might be adding some photoshop special effects, so this is a rough draft of the cover, really. But I need your help, friends!

Now look at where I had planned to have the text added:

Imagine it in color. If you're a little curious about the big round thing behind his head, it's a halo, which I think will become more clear once it's in color.

My question to you:
Does this draw you in? Do you have any suggestions? Honestly, you won't be hurting my feelings or Ashley's by stating what you think could be improved.

Here is another cover idea:

How does this compare to the one above? I WOULD LOVE and be IMMENSELY appreciative of ALL suggestions. Thanks guys. You know I love you :-)

E-Book Follow-up!

After Linda's post asking what we readers prefer (e-books or traditional paper), I decided to recycle this quote from Kristin Nelson's blog. Ms. Nelson is a literary agent based in Denver, Colorado!

All I can say is whoa. Who turned on the ebook sales? In five years, I’ve never seen numbers like I’m seeing from the past 3 or 4 months. Ereaders were THE gift this holiday season is what I’m thinking. About 6 months ago I said the tipping point was near. I think it’s here.

So there you have it. The words of an industry professional! Uh, I guess I need to buy an Ereader so I can decide what I like best.

The new question to pose is: KINDLE or NOOK?

Virtual home Vs Real home

Hey guys!
I didn't have a topic ready for the post today, so I thought I'd do something I haven't done before. I know there are a lot of book bloggers & writer bloggers following The Lit Express. So I want to post something you both might enjoy seeing!

First, tell me if you agree. Blogs are like a virtual extension of the blogger's brain and home. We welcome you into this virtual home, offer you a little entertainment and good company. You have stepped through a porthole in your home to get to our virtual space. Well, are you ever curious what lies on the other side of The Lit Express? What real world space do we, the writers, pass through to step into this virtual one? I'm going to show you. (I'm going to show you 1 other end. As you know there are 4 contributors here!)

Rane's Workspace
I live at this desk. This is where I enter the porthole to get to this blog, and yours. The abundance of desk space is why I purchased it. Thanks IKEA!

My bookcases
These were actually my grandmother's bookcases, passed down to my mother, then to me. I love having them in my house. The books are a little disheveled at the moment. In the book case on the left, the top row consists of my all time FAVORITE books. The books with white spines are historical romance novels written by Georgette Heyer, and next to the are all of Madeline Brent's romantic suspense novels. I love romance novels written in the 70s and 80s. They were a little more wholesome back then.

Sorry the pictures are a little grainy! I took them with my iPhone. So do you recognize any books? You may or may not.  Many of them were purchased while I lived in Australia, so they probably have a different spine than you're used to seeing. I hope you enjoyed this quick virtual tour!

What makes a great book summary?

THAT is the question distracting me this morning from all other activities!

What does it take to write a great book summary? Writers struggle with this task all the time. It's why we writers DREAD the query letter. But shouldn't we be able to write kick @$$ summaries? After all, it's our creation. We should be experts! We are the #1 fans. We should be able to gush about it eloquently, enticing everyone to read it.

Here's the problem:

I don't know about you, but I am really disappointed when a book doesn't keep the promises it makes in the summary on the back. Are you? It's like the summary is only there to deceive us. It's telling us: this book would be GREAT with these ingredients. So then why does it stray so far from what it promises?

I didn't want my book to have a summary like that.

Perhaps the most important thing is to catch the flavor of the conflict. Maybe this seems like a no brainer. I dunno. Instead of being weighed down by conveying the story exactly how it happens in the book, focus on the tone of the story. That's my conclusion.

So you may have read the summary for my book "Who Is Saint Giovanni?" Or maybe you haven't, which is OK too. You can read the old summary by clicking here.

Here is what I consider an improvement:

After going her whole life without making a single enemy, someone wants Emily Edwards dead. And it's all Giovanni's fault. How does she know? Terrifying things happen whenever he's around. Since meeting him on her first day in Italy, Emily swears he follows her everywhere. First at the opera, then at her new high school in Florence.

The morning after Giovanni rescues her from muggers, Emily wakes with an X that looks like it has been carved between her eyes. No one else can see the mark besides Giovanni. Since then, her senses are sharper, as though she had been living her life until that moment a little deaf, a little blind, and with no taste buds.

Emily needs answers, but Giovanni won't give anything away. He says he's protecting her, but how can she believe him? So she risks her life by confronting the very man Giovanni has warned her about. Although some call Giovanni a saint, others call him a devil. Emily discovers she's only a pawn in a dangerous game that has existed for centuries. Her only chance of surviving it is to find the answer to a single question. Who is Saint Giovanni?

Reader friends: does this appeal to you more than the old summary?

Writer friends: what do you think of my theory about tone, etc?

Tear it to shreds, people! I'm open to all suggestions and am very grateful for all feedback. A special thanks to Brenna for pointing out that my old summary didn't get exciting until the 2nd paragraph!

Thanks for reading!

1st VLOG about "Who Is Saint Giovanni?" !!

WHO IS SAINT GIOVANNI?

This is the very first post to announce an epic year long blogging adventure that will take place here at The Lit Express. The best way to read about this event is to click on this link, which will take you to a newsletter I created especially for this event! It really has all the particulars you need to understand what is happening and why it's happening.

I AM SO EXCITED I couldn't sleep last night. No joke!

So do you want the gist of it?
I've written a book. It's a YA paranormal romance novel that I've decided not to try and publish traditionally (via publishing house, etc). I have decided to post it on my blog in weekly installments until the whole book is available to the public for free.

Say what?

I'm doing this because it will be fun. And we all need some good fun!!!! Charles Dickens published some of his major work in installments. So did George Eliot. And now Rane Anderson will do it too.

What can you expect in the next few months? Well, it's going to take some time to prepare. I'll be posting about it regularly leading up to the very first launch day (April 11, 2011!). I'm working with a very talented artist to create a cover for the book and a new illustration for each post! I can't wait to see my characters come alive on paper!!!!

There are ways to participate in this event. But you really have to read this article for the best explanation.

AND when you sign up to participate, you are actually signing up to win prizes too. The Grand Prize will be a Kindle Graphite 6".

Here is a summary of the book, but really, please read this article that took me something like 8 hours to prepare (all last night until 5am).

WHO IS SAINT GIOVANNI?

Emily Edwards snoops too far into her father’s personal affairs—affairs being the key word—and is sent away from home for calling him out. She is an aspiring journalist who seeks the truth behind every story—good and bad—so her dilemma is a tough one. Emily can tell her mom the truth, breaking the heart of the person she loves most. Or, she can suck it up, bend her principles, and start her junior year in the land of her Roman ancestors.

Miserable, and hating herself for not coming clean, Emily’s arrival in Florence, Italy feels like the start of a grim prison sentence. But the world gets a little brighter after she meets Giovanni. Or rather, after she meets his lips as he pulls her into his arms, kisses her, and then vanishes, leaving her with the most dangerous desire of all: curiosity.

When fate brings them together for a second time, Emily the Journalist emerges, determined to replace her curiosity with the truth. Who is this mysterious boy? Why did he kiss her and then disappear? But as Emily already knows, poking into people’s private lives doesn’t always end well.  Although some people call Giovanni a saint, others call him a devil. Emily soon discovers she’s put herself in peril just being near him. After going her whole life without making a single enemy, someone suddenly wants her dead. And her life depends on finding the answer to a single question. Who is Saint Giovanni?

###

That essentially would have been my query letter had I chosen to submit to agents! Now, I'm going to leave you with a couple important links:

Countdown w/sign up sheets for participating (giveaways)

List of prizes you can win from participating

Really, this is going to be sooooo much fun, and I hope you all see it for its potential. If you've got some time, leave me some love in a comment to share your enthusiasm! :-D

X-rated scenes in young adult books. What do you think?

So I was just browsing the internet, taking a break from the serious textbook editing mode to disappear back into a world I love infinitely more: YA fiction. I was trying to do some research as to why YA books geared for teen girls don't generally have boys on the front cover.  Honestly, if I were a teen, I'd be much more drawn to the covers with boys on the front (along with the heroine). Those covers are making a promise: yes there are boys within these pages, just open it up and take a peek. As YA readers, what do you think about that?

As I was in the midst of my research, I found this article. It talks about the sex scenes that appear in the YA books geared for 5th-8th graders and some older YA fiction. Here are some quotes taken from the article (article written by Naomi Wolff of The New York Times; excerpts from Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar and A-List by Zoey Dean):

...Sex saturates the "Gossip Girl" books, by Cecily von Ziegesar, which are about 17- and 18-year-old private school girls in Manhattan. This is not the frank sexual exploration found in a Judy Blume novel, but teenage sexuality via Juicy Couture, blasé and entirely commodified. In "Nothing Can Keep Us Together," Nate has sex with Serena in a Bergdorf's dressing room: "Nate was practically bursting as he followed Serena. . . . He grabbed her camisole and yanked it away from her body, ripping it entirely in half. . . . 'Remember when we were in the tub at my house, the summer before 10th grade?' . . . 'Yes!' 'Oh, yes!' . . . Nate began to cry as soon as it was over. The Viagra had worn off just in time."

The "A-List" novels, by Zoey Dean (a pseudonym for a married writing team hired by the media packager 17th Street Productions, which created all three series and sold them to Little, Brown), are spinoffs of the "Gossip Girl" series. Now we're on the West Coast, among a group of seniors from Beverly Hills High. Here is Anna, in Las Vegas for the weekend with her posse: "Was there any bliss quite like the first five minutes in a hot tub? Well, yes, actually. Ben. Sex with Ben had been that kind of bliss. . . . Would sex with Scott offer that kind of bliss?" Her best friend, Cyn, also has feelings for Scott: "She'd shed a lot of her usual wild-child ways as soon as they'd hooked up. No more stealing guys with wedding rings away from their wives just because she could. . . . No more getting wasted at parties and dirty dancing with handsome waiters . . . . No more taking E," or ecstasy, at nightclubs.

These are called young adult books, but I have a feeling they are marketed toward a much younger audience (5-8 grade?). I have never read them, but I worked with 5th and 6th graders (teaching science) and saw them reading these books all the time. ???What??? Of course, I have heard of the Gossip Girl TV show, but I've never watched it. (Yeah, I'm so behind the times.) And it looks like a show adults would like. After all, the characters aren't really teens. They're like 20-30 year old actors pretending to be teens (weird).

The last line of Wolff's article pretty sums up my opinion of what's happening in many YA novels:

"The great reads of adolescence have classically been critiques of the corrupt or banal adult world. It's sad if the point of reading for many girls now is no longer to take the adult world apart but to squeeze into it all the more compliantly. Sex and shopping take their places on a barren stage, as though, even for teenagers, these are the only dramas left."

So what do you think about all of this? Does it bother you that these books are marketed toward girls much too young to be reading that stuff (in my opinion)? What aren't they reading Judy Blume? Am I crazy to be so irritated by this? You tell me.

And I'm also curious what you think about the YA book covers with only girls on the front cover. Does it make a difference to you? What would you prefer to see?

Fresh From My Fingertips

I'm about to do something I've never done before. I'm going to post the opening scene of one of my works in progress. Its tentative title is The Golden Mask, and it's YA fantasy. I have been editing and writing a non-fiction text book about the solar system all week, and I can't tell you how great it felt to open up The Golden Mask file and re-read some of my work.

And since I didn't have a post topic ready for today, I thought, hey, why not. I'm usually very private about my writing. Maybe it's time to change that. Without further ado, I present you with the opening scene of The Golden Mask:

          I pushed open the wooden door and stepped into The Pit Stop, a seedy bar right off the 5 freeway. And that’s exactly what it was, a pit stop for the truckers who needed a break from the treacherous mountain roads. For me, this place was both home and work. Home, when I slept in the small attic-turned-office upstairs, and work, when I played the slightly out of tune piano in the bar’s darkest corner.
          Standing at the threshold, I stomped hard, hoping most of the snow on my boots would fall onto the welcome mat instead of tracking it half way across the bar, making even more work for poor Luis. As usual, the jukebox was blasting a familiar tune everyone knows and loves, which made me wonder why Carmen, the bar’s owner, even bothered with live entertainment in a place like The Pit Stop.
          “Hey girl,” Carmen shouted at me just as she turned a vodka bottle upside down to fill three shot glasses. I gave her the customary wave but didn’t say a word. Lifting my hand a little higher, I tugged on my sweatshirt hood to cover more of my face and then continued to the back of the bar.
          The piano greeted me with ice-cold keys. I cracked my knuckles—something my mom always warned me against if I was going to take the piano thing seriously—and waited for the jukebox music to fade. When it did, I played the intro to a Billy Joel song, thinking about the old life. That’s what I called it, the old life, my existence before the fire. There were the afternoons at Sam’s house, building forts and studying trigonometry, and at home, the smell of Dad’s pot wafting up to my bedroom from the backyard, Tuesday’s piano lessons, and Mom’s romance novels. It was all part of the old life, but I didn’t want to think about it. Not now. Not ever. It was like fantasizing about your favorite food knowing you would never eat it again. One of the only times I could tune it out was when I sang.
          My lips were an inch from the microphone as I began in a velvety voice, “It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday. The regular crowd shuffles in. There’s an old man sitting next to me, makin’ love to his tonic and gin.”
          From my dark corner, hidden behind the piano, I could watch the room as though it were a stage. There were the clumsy guys playing pool and the chatty ladies eying them with interest. A couple of overweight truckers, wearing ball caps and no coats, had just stepped inside. They scanned the room, their eyes filled with the hope of finding a warm body sometime before the night was over. They didn’t see me, thank god. The hood sitting low over my forehead helped to keep me invisible. At least, I liked to pretend it did. It hid my bad side sort of like how that guy’s mask, the one from the Phantom of the Opera, hid his. The door opened again, this time letting in too much cold air. It stung my cheeks. I lowered my eyes to the ivory keys and leaned forward to sing the next verse into the mic.
          I was halfway through my favorite line when I looked up and saw him, striding across the bar, in that long dark coat specked with snow. My fingers stumbled over the keys, and I choked on the next couple of words of the song but got it together quickly. A tear found its way to my cheek, and I turned my head toward the wall. After all that running, it didn’t make a difference. He found me like I knew he would.
          Just because you’re not looking at him, Cass, doesn’t mean he isn’t there. He was at the bar, handing Carmen a twenty. He carried two beers my way, smiling at me as though we were longtime friends. His eyes told a different story. They said, where the hell have you been for the last eight months? My skin prickled, and I was suddenly hot and cold all at once. The left side of my face throbbed like it always did when the blood rushed to my cheeks. I had stopped singing and playing, but no one seemed to notice.
          The froth slopped over the edge of the glass just as he set it on top of the piano. He shook the spilled beer off his hand and stepped closer. I flinched as he slammed the fallboard over the piano keys. I had pulled my hands away just in time. He tugged the hood off of my head and grabbed my chin with his deft fingers, staring at the scars.
          “This could have been healed. It’s too late now.”
          I pushed his hand away. “I don’t care.”
          I reached for my hood, but he stopped me. He smiled again, this time looking pained.
          “I want to see the face of the girl skilled enough to outrun me. You’ve been practicing, I take it.” I didn’t answer. “You can veil yourself already?” He gulped his beer and then set it next mine. “Look, sweetheart, this will all go down a lot smoother if you’d just play along.” His jaw clenched, making it appear more square. He looked awful. No amount of good-looking could hide the fact that he hadn’t had a haircut in months, or that he hadn’t shaved in a week.
          I reached for the slippery glass and sipped the beer. “Haven’t I been playing along since I was a kid? I might not have known it, but I was. Isn’t that what that picture book was all about? That library book that somehow found its way into my pile. Little Cassie with her green eyes and brown hair, just like me, living in a small beach town, just like me, riding in her red station wagon with her dog named Sandy, having strange but exciting magical adventures on every page...”
          “Just like you,” he answered. “The book was a way of preparing you.”
          I shook my head. “Brainwashing me. Manipulating me.”
          “It was just a book, and you chose to read it.”
          “It was a little hard to ignore.”
          “Cassie.”
          “Don’t call me that.”
          He cleared his throat. “Look…”
          Carmen cut him off. She had come up from behind, holding a dishrag in one hand and a baseball bat in the other. “You all right, Cass?”
          “I’m fine,” I said, grabbing my bag from the floor just before I stood up. This is your last chance. Make it count. “I’m not feeling good, though, so I think I’m going to have to stop a little early tonight. I’ll make it up to you tomorr—”
          He was gone.
          Carmen blinked, hard, and frowned. “Cass, why am I holding a baseball bat?” She stood beside me, glancing around the bar as though she didn't know where she was.
          I shrugged. “I gotta go, Carmen.” I kissed her cheek and threw my arms around her. It was the only time we’d ever touched and would be the last.

So, that's that. I feel a little shy posting my work. :-D But, oh well. I hope you enjoyed.

Book Crazies (2)

To read more about Book Crazies (and its "sister" meme, Book Lovelies) please visit our features page.

Let me start off by saying I don't dislike City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. This first book of the Mortal Instrument series has goofy humor that is sometimes reminiscent of the Harry Potter books. (I'm not surprised since Cassandra Clare wrote 3 Harry Potter fan fiction books!) Surely, that's something to admire. (When I needed more Harry Potter, I turned to the fanfiction! Did you?)

What's driving me crazy is that her "humor" sometimes goes right over my head. And no, I'm not a dumb-dumb. It's just that the humor is sometimes so off the wall that I can't help but assume it's an inside joke between her and someone else...as in, someone else besides the reader. It's borderline driving me book crazies. In real life, it's not fun listening to other people's inside jokes. It's not fun in a book either.
 
There are also tons of irrelevant details that I don't care to read about. For example:

...in which we learn Jace hates Earl Grey tea...
"I'll have tea," Clary said, realizing how long it had been since she had eaten or drunk anything. She felt as if she'd been running on pure adrenaline since she woke up.
Jace succumbed. "All right. As long as it isn't Earl Grey," he added, wrinkling his fine-boned nose. "I hate bergamot."
...
Clary raised her eyebrows at Jace. "You hate bergamot?"
Jace had wandered over to the narrow bookshelf and was examining its contents. "You have a problem with that?"
"You may be the only guy my age I've ever met who knows what bergamot is, much less that it's in Earl Grey tea." (page 100)

...in which we learn Jace hates cucumbers...
"Cucumber," he said, in response to her stare.
"I always think cucumber sandwiches are just the thing for tea, don't you?" Madame Dorthea inquired, of no one in particular.
"I hate cucumber," Jace said, and handed the rest of his sandwich to Clary. She bit into it--it was seasoned with just the right amount of mayonnaise and pepper. Her stomach rumbled in grateful appreciation of the first food she'd tasted since nachos she'd eaten with Simon.
"Cucumber and bergamot," Clary said. "Is there anything else you hate that I ought to know about?" (page 103)

###

Now, unless bergamot and cucumbers mix to make some kind of magical healing salve that's going to save either Jace or Clary's life.........why must I read about it? In fact, I apologize. You may be wondering WHY on earth you just read it too.

I am starting to think I did myself a disservice by reading Clockwork Angel (the prequel to COB) first. Clockwork Angel is the 4th book Clare has had published. City of Bones is the first. Either she switched editors or she has GREATLY improved as a writer. City of Bones is not as well written as Clockwork Angel, which makes me sad and happy. Sad for obvious reasons, happy because Clare has improved!

These are all within the a few paragraphs:

• stupidly gazed
• thoughtfully licked spaghetti off his knuckle---> what the?
• awfully calm
• meanly pleased
• awfully eager 

Am I the crazy one? I got dizzy by all the ly...ly...ly...ly...ly. If it only happened on one or two pages, fine. That's easy to forget. The problem is that it happens throughout the whole book!

Even though I've definitely had my book crazies moments while reading City of Bones, it doesn't mean I'm going to give it a bad review. I'm only about half through at the moment. Great characterization or an awesome plot could raise the current score. That's the thing. With most books, there's always going to be a few book crazies. It's the book LOVELIES that make up for it.

Have you had any book crazies moments lately?

If you would like participate in this meme, please leave your link at the bottom of this post. Book Crazies is the "sister" meme to Book Lovelies. The two memes rotate every other week for variety!

Book Lovelies (2)

To read more about Book Lovelies (and its "sister" meme, Book Crazies) please visit our features page.

 

What am I loving about the book(s) I tote around town and stash under my pillow at night? Stick around to find out. Don't forget to share what you are loving about your current reads!

Just finished: Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly

Currently reading: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare (on page 98)

About Revolution...
How do you feel when you are already enjoying a book, and then BAM, you're slammed with a twist you were not expecting? That's what happened while reading Revolution. It became my favorite part of the book. Until that point, I was thinking it was a 3.5 star book but then SLAM...twist...and it bumped the overall score up to a 4. Oh yeah, it was THAT good. I wish I could tell you what the twist is, but I don't want to spoil it for you in case you plan on reading this book.

In the past, if I picked up a book written in present tense, more than half of the time I'd put it back onto the shelf. I've always preferred to read books written in past tense. Revolution is written in first person, present tense, and I think it totally worked for this story. It made everything feel so immediate, which was important since the main character, Andi, was struggling with some pretty intense feelings. Although, I personally cannot relate to her traumatic experiences, the present tense made me feel like I was Andi. It had me constantly thinking how would I react or feel? Would it be like Andi? Essentially, it made the story come alive for me. *I loved it*

I almost forgot this point, and I'm glad I remembered! Revolution has a love story weaved into it. And if you know me, you know I LOVE romance. But, what made this romance so spectacular is the fact that it was pretty average. Average as in boring? No way. It was average as in "this can actually happen in real life." Lately, I feel like YA books are taken over by the I'm in love with you at first sight scenario. That can be fun too, but it gets old quick. Maybe it's only getting old because there isn't enough variety in what happens after the love at first sight scene. Anyway... in Revolution Virgil is this really caring, normal (and hot) guy. He and Andi hit it off right from the start, but their romance develops naturally. It's helped me realize that tenderness can happen in very small events. Like singing someone to sleep...

About City of Bones...
So, I have much less to say about this one. NOT because I'm not loving it. I am. But, I'm only about 100 pages into the book. What's got me hooked? Simon and Jace. Both of them make me LAUGH like crazy. And, I can already tell where things are headed...romantically...between Clary and both boys. Is this a love triangle in the works? We shall see.

If you would like participate in this meme, please leave your link at the bottom of this post. Book Lovelies is the "sister" meme to Book Crazies. The two memes rotate every other week for variety!

Does your family let you read? & Awards

It's tough to read when this is the face I get from everyone in my household! This look says, "Really, are you going to read a book instead of playing with me? Isn't it time for our walk yet?" Sometimes I bribe my pet with a toy filled with a treat and a little peanut butter just so she'll give me some reading time. Do your pets (husbands, kids, other animals in your household) give you time to read? Do you wish, like me, that you had more time to read?

 

Onto a different topic:

Awards

We received the Stylish Blogger Award  from Saba's Awesome Reviews, Phaedra's Multipurpose Blog, and from Lisa at First Draft on Life, Literature and Lunacy. <--They have AWESOME blogs too, so anybody reading this, I think you should check them out! :-)

We also received the Versatile Award from Tribute Books Mama! <--I love this blog. Please stop by to take a peek!

To accept the award we have to do the following:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Award to fifteen recently discovered bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

For the Versatile Blogger Award

Beastie Books

Melinda Jones Carroll

Minding Spot

Book Loving Mommy

Sharon's Garden of Book Reviews

For the Stylish Blogger Award

 The Thoughts of a Book Junky

Fire and Ice by Little Red Reads

Dearest Dreams

The Mod Podge Bookshelf

Here are the 7 random facts about us:

ALYSSA

1) I have to read at least 4 books at a time. I don't know why. I feel like I get more accomplished this way, even though I probably slow myself down.

2) I can't go 2 days without either reading or writing. Most of the time, I spend my entire day doing both.

3) I hate needles. If you even talk about getting a shot, I will put my hands over my ears and scream to drown you out, because even just talking about it makes me want to faint.

4) I hate driving. My goal is to live in a city where having a car is unnecessary. I'm aiming for a European city, preferably in France. :)

5) I'm a research nut. For me, the best part of writing is researching. While I'm currently writing fantasy, I have a feeling I'll turn to historical or non-fiction because of this.

6) Before I decided to major in English, I was seriously considering a major in Computer Science. I am both saddened and glad I made this choice. Books and writing make life worth living. Unfortunately, it is very hard to make a living in related fields.

7) I'm a dog person. Cats freak me out.

KALINA KAY

1) I hate cooking. And actually, I don't like foods and meals with a lot of ingredients or that take a long time to cook. The simpler the food... the better. It is probably way less healthy, but that's okay.

2) I don't read the newspaper or watch the news. I think it's depressing and I try to be an optimistic person. If our world was being attacked by aliens I wouldn't know about it unless someone called me and personally told me over the phone.

3) I can't clean my house unless I am talking on the phone. I have special friends just for this purpose. It feels as though I am getting two things done at once: catching up with a friend AND cleaning. Plus, it makes the work seem like it goes so much faster. One phone conversation and VOILA! the house is suddenly clean. My hubby always asks who I've been talking to whenever the house is clean. I think he knows.

4) I have a thing for hair. I don't wish I was a hair stylist or anything but I follow hair blogs in an effort to keep my girls constantly looking their best. If I got paid to braid, I'd be a millionaire.

5) I've been living on my own since I was 17. After I graduated, my parents moved to Cali and I had a choice to move with them or stay in AZ. I chose to stay, got an apartment, went to school full time, and worked two jobs at minimum wage to make ends meet. I don't know how I did it... but I did.

6) I used to be organized and then I started writing...

7) I don't like chocolate ice cream but I love chocolate in general.

RANE

1) I lived in Brisbane, Australia for almost four years.

2) When I was 9, I wrote a screenplay sequel to the movie HOOK. I called it HOOK RETURNS. At 12, I tried to write a Jane Austen inspired historical romance novel and reached the 20,000 word mark! Not bad for my first novel.

3) I like to eat breakfast while checking e-mail/facebook/blog.

4) One of my favorite activities is going to the movies.

5) I have hiked the Grand Canyon twice, from top to bottom & back up. The first time I hiked out of the canyon, I did it in 5 hours and 15 minutes. The second time I did it, I improved my time. It dropped to 4 hours and 30 minutes!!

6) I hate bumping into people I know in public places.

7) I am really good at spotting famous people out in public.

Thank you for enjoying our blog!

 

Monsters, Myths & Oddities (2)

Myths, Monsters & Oddities is a monthly feature on The Lit Express that transports us back into the worlds that exist within the pages of our favorite books. We'll explore the dangerous beasts and harmless critters, sinister sorcerers and sparkly vampires that make YA fantasy come alive.

 

Last week I reviewed A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. I promised to talk a little bit about the "realm" or "spiritual world" in the series. Since it was published in 2003, I imagine a lot of you have already read it. But, just to be on the safe side...there are no plot spoilers here.

The books describe the realm as a place where spirits exist before they move on to their final resting place. Is there magic in this realm? Oh yeah. Those who visit the realm are able to make anything happen. I mean anything. And what if you could take some of that magic home with you? What would you use it for? The first thing I'd change in my own life? I'd make it impossible for my dog to bark at people and other dogs. Sigh. If only such a place truly existed.

...and actually...

To a lot of people in this world, magical realms or spirit worlds really do exist.

In the Native American cultures, smoking the pipe is probably the most important ritual. Why? The pipe's smoke rises up, connecting with the powerful spirits that exist in the spirit world. For the plains tribes, White Buffalo Woman is one of those spirits. She is the maiden goddess who gave them the sacred pipe and showed them how to communicate with the spirit world. She not only taught them about cooking food and praying, but also brought them buffalo during times of starvation.

<<It’s breakfast time, and I’m starving. What I would love more than anything right now is to summon a spirit from a spirit world to come and cook me breakfast>>

In A Great and Terrible Beauty, the girls visited the realm, but could spirits from the realm visit them in the human world? That’s one thing I’m not too sure about. (I’m not far into the 2nd book in the series.) And, what about in real life?

A Shaman is an anthropological term to describe a person who can communicate with the spirit world. Essentially, shaman are messengers. They enter the supernatural realms—much like the characters of A Great and Terrible Beauty—to find a solution for whatever problem their community faces and brings back an answer. If it’s sickness, the shaman looks to the spirit world for a method of healing. Shaman can also communicate with the spirits of the deceased, bringing back messages that are meant to sooth the souls of the living.

Sooth the souls of the living? (That sounds familiar.) It’s exactly what happens for Gemma Doyle, the main character of A Great and Terrible Beauty, when she enters the realm. But, you’ll have to read the book to find out how!

Lastly…

If you are really, truly inspired by the idea of a spirit world or realm, I suggest you watch the animated fantasy-adventure film Spirited Away. The young girl in the story ends up in spirit realm and can't get out. It has some pretty interesting Japanese spirits in it. I saw it years ago and thought it was pretty strange. Interesting...but strange.

A Great and Terrible Beauty Review

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray

Publisher: 2003 by Delacorte Press
Hardback: 403 pages
Reading Level: Young Adult

Summary (from delacorte press):
It’s 1895, and after the suicide of her mother, 16-year-old Gemma Doyle is shipped off from the life she knows in India to Spence, a proper boarding school in England. Lonely, guilt-ridden, and prone to visions of the future that have an uncomfortable habit of coming true, Gemma’s reception there is a chilly one. To make things worse, she’s been followed by a mysterious young Indian man, a man sent to watch her. But why? What is her destiny? And what will her entanglement with Spence’s most powerful girls—and their foray into the spiritual world—lead to?

 My Review:

I'm starting this review with a note to self: (Rane, please write reviews right after finishing the book, as you originally planned.) I had so much to say about a week ago. I thought to myself, sure, I'll remember...how can I forget? Has that ever happened to you? If it has, you can relate to my frustration. Here's some positive thinking:

Now, if only I can  make this come true
(the mental aspect, that is...not the physical lol).

My REAL review of A Great and Terrible Beauty:

The cover of this book drew me in every time I saw it sitting on the shelf at Barnes & Noble. It's the corset. There is something great and terrible about it, isn't there? The average book buyer will automatically note the book is set long ago, sometime before the twentieth century (1895 to be exact). Thinking a little deeper, we might recall that the corset sometimes represents the suppression of women, which ends up being a huge theme in this book.

In a good book, there has to be at least one huge compelling factor to keep a reader reading. In this book, it was the characters. Gemma Doyle, the heroine of the story, and her friends at Spence academy are vivid portraits of girls from the Victorian era. There's the girl whose parents are forcing her to marry a suitor as old as her father, the girl whose parents shipped her off to school and have forgotten she exists, and of course, the girl who has no parents at all and is the school's charity case. Then, there's Gemma, who's spoiled and self-centered but quickly snaps out of it after her mother's "suicide."

In this book there are four very different characters with one HUGE commonality. None of them trust the adults in their lives. I kept thinking "SPEAK UP," you poor girl. TELL your parents how you feel. SEEK help. But, then I remembered the cover of the book, the corset strapping the girl in, molding her waist--and her mind--to fit societies standards. A girl had to suppress her feelings and do what was expected, even if it's not what she wanted. It's no wonder these four friends become obsessed with the magical realm where they can make their wildest dreams come true, whether it be a handsome prince or a beautiful face.

I floated through this book in about a day. That says something. Not only is it well-written, but it's beautifully written. At this time, I don't have much to say about the magical realm the girls visit. Next week, I will post my second Monsters, Myths & Oddities post, which will take a closer look. That being said, a tighter ending to the book, and a plot that didn't fall a tiny bit flat, would have upped my overall score to a four.

I did enjoy this book, and if you haven't read it, I hope you do. To read more of my thoughts about A Great and Terrible Beauty, please see my Book Crazies post from last week.

Cover: 5/5
Plot: 3.5/5
Characters: 5/5
Writing: 5/5
Ending: 3/5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Book Crazies

We notice when authors do their job. We fall in love with their characters (literally!). We daydream about the worlds they create. We also sometimes (okay, most of the time) wish life were really like the books we read. Now that that's been said, Book Crazies is a monthly feature for readers to share what drives them crazy. Bad dialogue? Poorly used metaphors? Annoying characters? The purpose is not, however, to cruelly bash books or their authors. Give examples and good reasons to back them up. 

This is going to be a short post. As some of you know, I've got a huge deadline due tomorrow. It's a very exciting--and stressful--time for me. I'm handing in a complete book  to my editor (1 of 2 being published), and I've been spending hours trying to perfect, perfect, perfect. I'm almost there.

So, onto today's topic. Book Crazies.

Just the other day I threw a book, a library book, into the fireplace (oooo now you think I'm evil), watching it catch fire, and burn, burn, burn...in that ring of fire...that ring of fire. Okay, well I felt like doing that at one point, but of course, I didn't.

My most recent read is A Great & Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. And yes, I know this is "Book Crazies," so I'm technically supposed to be complaining. I will. Give me a moment. Must...say...positive...things....first. Libba Bray is an awesome writer. Her words flow beautifully as if every sentence was written effortlessly. That takes skill, baby, skill! So, without wrecking my up-coming review of A Great & Terrible Beauty, I do want to say 1 thing that drove me a little Book Crazies.

The book was leading up to something GREAT. I felt it. I yearned for it. I needed it so I could feel satisfied after dedicating 400+ pages worth of my life. And, in my humble opinion, it didn't quite reach that mouth dropping, heart pounding moment where you wonder if the characters are going to make it out alive. The climax of the story fell slightly below par for me. It did affect my overall opinion about the book.

Has that happened to you? Have you gotten hundreds of pages into a book, looking forward to seeing how everything unfolds, and then close the book, totally disappointed? Do you have a recent Book Crazies moment? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Better yet, if you've read A Great & Terrible Beauty, do you disagree with my impression of the climax of the story?

Clockwork Angel Review

Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices Book 1) by Cassandra Clare

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Hardcover: 342 pages

Reading Level: YA (Fantasy/Paranormal Romance)

FYI: The first 121 pages of Clockwork Angel are available for FREE on Simon & Schuster’s website.

Summary: Magic is dangerous—but love is more dangerous still.

When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England, the time is the reign of Queen Victoria, and something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos.

Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters, members of a secret organization called The Pandemonium Club, Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability: the power to transform, at will, into another person. What's more, the Magister, the shadowy figure who runs the Club, will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own. Click here to read the rest of the summary from Simon & Schuster's website.

My review: 

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about Clockwork Angel over the last month, first in my Monsters, Myths & Oddities post where I focused on demons, and then in my Book Lovelies post. What can I say? Clockwork Angel consumed many of my I-am-not-reading-but-wished-I-was moments.

So, what drew me in?

Initially, it was the descriptions of historical England (I'm a SUCKER for anything that takes place during the Victorian era). Then came the fascinating and creepy scenes starring the talon-fingered Dark Sisters who kidnap and force Tessa Gray, our heroine, to harness the powers she doesn’t even know she possesses. The third and final clincher? Will Herondale and Tessa Gray's meet-cute moment. That being said:

My feelings about Clockwork Angel range from a quizzical brow to a hunger for the next book in the series.

I love you vs. I don't

There's something special about this book.

Picture an old fashioned weighing scale. On one side of it, I'm placing what I love about Clockwork Angel, on the other side, everything I find wanting. The outcome is a harmonious balance between the two; it's a flawed, yet perfectly balanced ensemble of skillful writing, character development, plot, mystery, suspense, and romance. Just when part of the story strikes me as not quite right, I'm immediately distracted by something that's fantastic. Here are some examples:

• The contrived fighting scenes are overshadowed by compelling characters.

• The misuse of metaphors are forgotten because of the witty dialogue that follows.

• The "humanoids" are corny but the plot surrounding them is interesting.

This list could go on and on and on...

By far, one of the most compelling aspect of Clockwork Angel is the characterization of Will Herondale and Jem Castairs, Tessa's two love interests. Both boys are Shadowhunters (demon killers) and share an incredible bond, but they couldn't be more different. They both have feelings for Tessa but hold back because of separate issues. Will and Jem are tortured souls, carrying the burden of their pasts in different ways. Will is tight lipped, not wanting to give himself away. Jem is philosophical and kind but underestimates his appeal.

I didn't mention Tessa as being one of the compelling characters. She wasn't remarkable, but she wasn't annoying. She's a resolute character but flawed like any human. She can easily accept that the world is filled with Vampires, Demons, Warlocks, and Shadowhunters--and fall for one of them!--but is terrified of herself and her powers and remains so throughout the book. Though she's not compelling, she's still a good character, and I didn't mind having the story primarily through her point of view.

I could probably go on about this book forever. But, I have to stop somewhere! Here's my rating.

Cover: 5/5 (Loved it!)

Plot: 4/5

Characters: 5/5

Writing: 4/5

Ending: 3/5

Overall rating:

Since I loved Will & Jem, I want to give you a little preview of their characters through quotes (Pictures and descriptions borrowed from here).

  

Will Herondale
Seventeen-year-old Will is the sort of young man nice Victorian girls were warned against. He drinks, gambles, and enjoys the company of ladies of questionable virtue—at least, as much as he enjoys anything. Will hates everyone and everything, with the possible exception of Jem, and even that's in some doubt. Charlotte despairs of keeping him alive past the age of nineteen. When he finds himself oddly drawn to Tessa, his friends begin to hope that the Downworlder girl will prove Will's unlikely salvation—but as Tessa grows closer to the bleak secret that makes his life a prison, danger threatens to destroy them both if she ever finds out the truth.

"Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact?" Will demanded with mock horror. "Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not something wrong, as the case may be."

He banged on the side of the carriage. "Thomas! We must away at once to the nearest brothel. I seek scandal and low companionship."

***

"So you're a Shadowhunter," Nate said. "De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters."

"Was that before or after he tried to eat you?" Will inquired.

***

"Dear me. Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion."

Jem Castairs
Brought up in the Institute in Shanghai, Jem's parents were killed by a demon who allowed Jem to live—but with a terrible price to be paid. Frail and silver-haired, Jem seems an unlikely demon-killer, but his skills and swift intelligence make him a formidable foe. He finds a kindred spirit in Tessa as both of them feel they are torn between two worlds, neither belonging completely to one or to the other. As Jem's affection for her grows, will Will have to hurt the only person in his life he's ever seemed to care about?

"I know you feel inhuman, and as if you are set apart, away from life and love, but... I promise you, the right man won't care."

***

"Sometimes our lives can change so fast that the change outpaces our minds and hearts. It's those times I think when our lives have altered but we still long for the time before everything was altered--that is when we feel the greatest pain. I can tell you though from experience, you grow accustomed to it. You learn to live your new life and you can't imagine or even really remember how things were before."